Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I know her cup size but not her name....
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
