my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Your cock deserves a montage
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize