I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I have demons in me.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
