can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Sorry about my life...
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