Your face is a jimmy john
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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