no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize