Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
