the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize