So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
