Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
