Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
