As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
