Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
