Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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