sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
