I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
