Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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