What a fucking waste of an outfit
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
