think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
