Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
