Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
