Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
