Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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