Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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