3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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