he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
