you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize