my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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