whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
