I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
