Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
