I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
