I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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