legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
