and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
