Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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