I accidentally had phone sex last night
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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