remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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