i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
We talked him into tasing himself.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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