Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
