saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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