we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
nutella sex= disaster
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
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