I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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