Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
