I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
The power of my boobs compel you
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
