No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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