Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
