I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
