We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
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