Your tits are I can't wait for
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Randomize
