white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize