; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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