Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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