I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
