I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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