I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
