Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
