He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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