So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize