never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize