She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
