dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Im part way to drunk.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
