He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
